Kit

mood:emo, nostagic, mele.

This year has passed by pretty fast. Just about to get used to the 2007 thingy, for all you know its gonna be over soon. (i do write 2006 for my dates sometimes) okayy a run through this year.

No doubt the fact that 2007 sort of browsed through for me, yet it has been pretty eventful.

1st January 2007

While everyone’s celebrating and busy ushering the new year, it was the worst day of my life. Leaving for NS to a foreign place, with no one you know, for three months, it was tough for me. For some of you, you have seen me in the state of depression prolly for the first time. (sorry that i shouted at you*) But hey. it was tough. The first 3 days at camp was tough. I would go under the shower crying so that no one could hear me. (so not kit yi) Endless trips to the public phone to call home.

However it didn’t take me long to rub in with the new environment, people, food, schedule etc. Praise God for that. I remember praying for good friends. It is then i met Fiona, Ally, Edmund, Sam, Lik Xiang, Jun and Lun (later on), many other people and the list goes on.

Lessons learnt? Plenty. Another thing that I have been praying about is that "God, reveal to me your purpose in me" I remember going to church on the first week there. Pastor Patsy, the pastor of the church said to me. "maybe God wants you to be the Esther of this batch, always there to encourage people"

Being away, I experienced love and care from many different people. Those who would text constantly, call once in a while, simple "how are you", those that will still text during the week although they know that i don’t have my phone with me. Easily, I can identify people who are just mere friends, or those whom I can call true friends. Even those whom I have known for years, fall short of the title "true friends"

Quote: "Bila you sudah dewasa nanti, sudah jadi boss, you jangan takut. Sebagai boss, kau kena berani dan sanggup mengambil risiko." (KJ)

God said in the bible. "Do not fear"

I’ve always been afraid to take risks, challenges, often I’d prefer to stay where I am. I am comfortable. Hey. life’s not a walk in the park. Times where you gotta step out and step up, be that person that you’re suppose to be and use what you’re gifted with.

Quotes from movies.

"I’m sick of the average seasons" (Facing The Giants)

"I’m tired of my mediocre life" (Bruce Almighty)

As for me, yeah. I don’t want an average, mediocre, life. I want the best from God.

OKay back to this NS thing. Lots of experiences. Happy, Whacky, Sad, Bitter. All in one. But one incident, tho it was a punishment but i sure found it amusing. Our dorms were untidy, tables were not wiped clean. As a result, we have to carry our beds and tables, and parade around the camp. We don’t do dumb stuffs like this right. Not even in school. Too much to say, so cut the long story short, I enjoyed my time at Kem Bakau Resort. And yes. I cried when we had to leave. (so not kit yi)

20th February 2007

Lost of a loved one, my grandfather. He was 92 when he left. Ah kong’s trademark "what man you" which my lil cousin will imitate. At 90 plus, he still had his black hair, which obviously hair dye. Vain pot he was then. Ah Kong would spend one hour in the toilet! Being in a small house back in Taiping, we would all fight for the toilet and shower right before Ah Kong goes in. "Faster go chang aik before Ah Kong hogs the toilet!" would be common. Or, "eh who’s in the toilet so long one?" "Ah Kong is bathing lah" Ah Kong will never forget my favourite nasi lemak outside the house and he would cycle out to buy for me and my cousins. And he still did that when he was in the late 80s.

There laid Ah Kong on his bed, looking helplessly at me. I couldn’t hold back my tears. I went out and peeped from the corner of the door. There I see Ah Kong wiping his tears. I remember him asking me. "Girl, Kui tiam?" (which means, what time is it now) I looked at my watch, it was 4 o’clock. And i said "Si tiam" (In hokkien, ‘Si’ is die) Ah Kong’s reaction was so big. Being weak, he was still able to lift his upper body. When we had to leave, i said "bye bye ah kong" He waved, and that was his and my last goodbye.

I couldn’t attend his funeral because I had to be back at camp. My biggest regrets.

18th March 2007

As soon as NS was over, it was time to go back to studies. Signed up for the South Australian Matriculation programme in Taylor’s. Still unable to overcome the fact that NS is over, i dragged myself to college. My only friend was Fiona. I didn’t like my class. I was anti-social, didn’t speak much to people. Time goes by, everything began to change. I started talking to the rest, and finally found college enjoyable. But being in the express course. It wasn’t easy. Tests, assignments just shooting straight at you. There was a breakdown moment. It was too tough for me to keep up. I had thoughts of dropping the programme. But for the sake of finishing it, I continued.

This is to all from group E3, hey I really enjoyed your company as a team, a class, a group, and as individuals. You guys made a difference in my life.

9th -12th December 2007

Youth Camp. People go to camp, get touched by God, come back, all fired up. I had fun. But despite all the fun. There was some serious stuff. The camp speaker, Ps. Guy Ormerod said this to me.

"God’s gonna give you a pillar, not a pillow"

"Remember that God’s burden will not burden you"

Ah. Hit me right in the face. Like I said. I’ve always been comfortable. Years to come will be a breakthrough and as someone has mentioned to me. "I believe next year will be a year of breakthrough, contenting with God for what He has for you and rising to a new level in God."

So.. no more comforters and pillows, bolsters. Time to rise….

January-December 2007

Last but not least, this group of great pals, FGT folks. They have been together with me throughout the year, regardless of ups or downs. Thanks for letting me be who I am around you all. =)

The end. =)

Oh new year resolution for the Year 2008? Hmmmm. Do my best in everything, and leave the rest to God.

Revelations 3:7-8

What He opens, no one can shut, and what He shuts, no one can open. I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.

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